the Truth About Shame

No “good” Christian wants to admit that they go through seasons where they feel distant from the Lord. We don’t want to admit that when we sit down to pray, or read our bibles...we flat line. We don’t want to admit that we can’t bare to get up to go to church in the morning. Or that if we do go to church, we prefer to show up late and leave early so that we don’t have to talk to anyone and fake how excited we are about what God is doing in our lives. What makes it even worse is that a few months ago we were excited, down right thrilled, to do all of those things. But now, talking to God feels like talking to a wall. We feel distant and forgotten…

Is God nearer some seasons, and farther away in others?

That can’t be true, because the bible says he lives inside of us.

Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; "He will never leave you nor forsake you."

Matthew 28:20 “And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age."

Galatians 2:20  “I am crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me”

1 Corinthians 6:19 “Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God?”

Then why, why do we feel so far away sometimes?

Sometimes, it is a result of shame.

Shame always separates. Think of Adam and Eve in the garden. When they realized they were naked….they were ashamed, and they hid. What is scary is that you can spend time reading the bible and praying, and at the very same time be hiding from God. You think you trying to connect with God, but what you’re actually doing is trying to distract him, and superficially appease him. God is not delighted with you just because you woke up an hour early to pray. Religious activities do not please God.

“For you will not delight in sacrifice [religious activity], or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering [religious activity]. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”(Psalm 51:16-17).

Do you see the battle between right actions, and a right heart? This has been the battle since God encountered Abraham. It is the battle from Old Testament, to New Testament.  The belief that God was more pleased with right rule following [or right religious activity], instead of a right heart.

It’s funny. I never really liked reading that verse. You read it and think, ‘great God wants me to be sad and broken all my life, I have a lot to look forward to’. I had a hard believing God wants a bunch of sad followers.

So I wanted to know exactly what the words ‘broken and contrite’ mean in the Greek. The Greek word that is used to describe the broken heart, implies it being broken down, shattered into pieces.

As soon as I read “shattered into pieces’ the Lord showed me a picture of big red heart. All of a sudden he took a hammer and smashed it. When the heart broke open, I could see all these colors coming out, blue, purple, yellow, green, none of which I was able to see before. The heart laid in pieces on the ground, and I could see all of it.

You see the image the Lord is trying to display is of a hard heart being opened, completely exposed, nothing hidden. He wants an open, honest, humble heart. He can only breathe life on an exposed heart.  He doesn’t want you to hide behind the wall of religious activity. He didn’t want Adam and Eve to hide. Imagine how heart breaking it was for God to realize the people he created for himself were hiding from him. When Adam and Eve wanted to hide, God’s desire was to be one with them. So he sent Jesus to die on the cross, and raised him from the dead so that you didn’t have to hide from him anymore.

Yet shame, sends us running to get behind the wall of right actions. We don’t want to interact with God in an honest, open way because we think he would be disappointed in what he saw.

The real truth about shame, is that shame stems from a lie. Guilt says I did something bad. Shame says I am bad. And to think that you are bad, that is a lie. You are not bad. You are redeemed. You are not a mistake. You are chosen. You are not impure, dirty, or unworthy; you are pure, spotless, and worthy of a King to lay down his life for you.

Shame threatens to destroy your very identity with a lie.

When shame causes us to run into hiding…we carry that lie with us. We think we are protecting ourselves from God’s disappointment, but were actually protecting a lie attached to us that is destroying us.

How do you combat shame? You expose the hidden pieces. You do the very thing God says he delights in. It’s funny, right? That the thing God delights in…actually brings you healing.
Think about it like this: If you had a blood clot in your heart, you would have to let the doctor open up your chest in order to heal you. If you refused to open up, guess what, you would never experience healing. 

You might need to do that with God. Or you might need to do it with someone you trust. The bible talks a lot about confession, and how you should confess.  

“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” James 5:16

Confession can only come from an open heart. And only an open heart can be healed. You don’t confess because the other person has the key to forgiveness, or because you think that person has right standing with God. You confess because as you open your heart to someone else, you are opening it to God. And God will speak life to you through that person. Confessing to people, will show you:

 1. You are not alone. We can confess to God and still leave that conversation thinking we are the only person going through that thing. I once read in a Jenny Allen book that, ‘To think your story is your own is a mistake.’ I promise there is someone out there who can relate to you. There is someone out there who thinks they are alone in what they are going through, and when you confess, you actually minister to that person.

 2. You are loved. You will never feel really loved, unless you are fully known. Because to be fully known, and still loved, is what it is to be fully loved. [Timothy Keller]

It’s hard to confess if you don’t think there is any grace for you. For some reason we give more grace to unbelievers than we give to believers. We get this mindset that says “they should know better” or “I should know better”. Sometimes we think were only allotted a certain amount of grace per sin. The first time we mess up, we are like “God I need grace here, thank you for grace.” But the next time we mess up were like, well I used up all of God’s grace the last time I sinned, so there is no grace for me here. I need to feel really bad, and punish myself so that God will forgive me.

Grace does not stop when you accept Jesus. In fact the Greek word used for grace implies that grace actually sustains you.

Grace mean “the merciful kindness by which God, exerting his holy influence upon souls, turns them to Christ, KEEPS, STRENGTHENS, INCREASES them in Christian faith, knowledge, affection, and kindles them to the exercise of the Christian virtues.”  Thayers Greek Lexicon

It is just like Paul said!

“What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means!”- Romans 6:1-2
The definition shows that the experience of grace actually empowers us to live out the Christian exercises.

Some of you are wondering, but can’t I just confess to God. Can’t he just do that for me?

Can a man make a baby alone? No.

What is my point? God, at our very core, designed us to need each other. He created man to need woman, children to need parents, friends to need friends. At our most basic purpose, to reproduce, God paints a picture that fruitfulness comes from relationship. That relationship births life.

When I wanted to break up with an ex-boyfriend, I started to see a counselor. I had tried making changes in my life by myself and I realized it wasn’t working, I needed other people. After a few months I did break up with him. I remember sitting her office and telling her, “Okay, I need us to figure out everything that’s wrong with me that made me make such unhealthy choices in my last relationship, so when I meet the guy I am supposed to marry I will be fixed and capable of a healthy relationship. My counselor gave me this look, her eyes full of pity for my naivety and she said, “Well Mikela, there are some things that can only be worked out IN relationship.”

Hurts that have happened in relationships, have to be healed in relationships. Don’t blame me, that’s the way God designed it. He is the redeemer. And he redeems the hurt that have happened in relationships through relationships. It’s actually a beautiful thing that he lets us experience healing with and through one another. He wants to give you a tangible picture of what he is doing in the supernatural.

We don’t really understand the magnitude of his grace and his love for us, until we experience grace and love from someone we didn’t expect.

Several years ago, my best friend Hannah and I were sitting in her car. I had been hiding a lot of stuff about my relationship from her (this was the same guy I would eventually go to counseling and break up with). I had made a lot of bad decisions and I was so ashamed of them. I was ashamed because I loved God when I made the bad decisions. I couldn’t use the excuse, I didn’t know…. I knew. I looked up to Hannah so much and I was so scared she would be disappointed in me. But I was so tired of hiding, so I just started confessing to her all the things that were going on. I cried, confessed, cried more. And she just hugged me. She said she loved me. She told me it was okay. I cried more.

If she, someone who I thought for sure would be disappointed in me, could keep loving me, how much more was God’s love for me. And just like that, the walls I hid behind in shame came crumbling down. All my pieces were exposed…but God breathed on those pieces. And he will breathe on your pieces. You just have to let him.

You are Beautiful

Stephane Coutelle

There was nothing but darkness, and out of the darkness, He had a vision of you. A glimmer of light. He smiled. And the more He thought of you, the brighter the light became. You were not a quick thought, but an elaborate plan. His heart burst with hope, His excitement began to rise as he dreamed about who you would be. He planned out every detail about you. The way your hair would fall, the precious color it would be. Every beauty mark and freckle, the color of your eyes. How big your smile would be, the sound of your laugh. He knitted a story with every fiber of your being. He planted tiny seeds of passion in your heart. He knew exactly how long you could tolerate being around a mass of people. He knew how loud your voice would get when you were excited. He knew that you wouldn’t like change, or that you would get bored easily. Then He breathed His very life into you When He saw the finished product His mouth dropped, He was stunned by your beauty. The creator of the world was in awe of you. His heart treasured you so dearly. He embraced you in his arms and joy welled up within him. 

But then a lie began to whisper, that something was wrong with you. It convinced you that you were supposed to look like someone else, laugh like someone else, have passions like someone else. Every time you looked in the mirror you were filled with hate for what you saw. Every time someone confided in you their passions, you coveted them. You became so consumed with what other people were doing, what their lives looked like, what their jobs looked like, what their bodies looked like, what their dreams looked like, that you couldn’t see yourself anymore. You lost yourself in the dark chaos of comparison. You started believing that every bad thing that had happened to you was a result of your imperfections. That if you had been prettier, funnier, smarter, more lovable, more talented, people would have valued you, wanted you, protected you, believed in you, provided for you, or loved you. 

Every time you did, God’s heart winced with pain. You came straight from His very heart. He created you to reflect a part of Him only you could. When the lies distorted who you were, they distorted who He was. He loves what He created. He adores the person you are. His heart longs to be with you so much that the God of the universe, the King of creation, became a vulnerable man, and subjected himself to suffering, all so He could be with you, so He could understand the pain you feel, the very life you live. 

You are beautiful. You are not the things that have happened to you. You are not imperfect in the eyes of God. He sees the fullness of who he created you to be. You will not be beautiful when you lose 20 pounds. You will not be beautiful when put on more makeup. You will not be beautiful when your acne clears. You will not be beautiful when someone finally tells you that you are. You already are beautiful, but you will never feel beautiful until you believe that. Your beauty does not depend on a circumstance. Your beauty is eternal, because He is eternal, and your beauty is rooted in Him.  

There is rest when you realize you don’t have to strive to feel beautiful. When you realize your very design was intentional. Can you want to lose weight? Yes, but if you can’t look at yourself in the mirror now with grace and love, no weight loss (or whatever it is for you) will satisfy you. Those same hateful eyes will continue to look at your body, your job, your life, with scorn.  Or maybe you are happy, but your happiness with yourself is rooted in a circumstance, and when that circumstance changes you go back to being unsatisfied and hateful towards yourself. 

I want you to know that you’re beautiful. That you are dearly loved by God because he created you. He knows you. He knows the deepest parts of you, and He loves you. He chooses you. Over and over again he chooses you.

Making a Way for the King

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The Triumphal Entry
"Now when they drew near to Jerusalem...Jesus sent two disciples...the disciples went and did as Jesus had told them. They brought the donkey and the colt and put on them their cloaks, and he [Jesus] sat on them. Most of the crowd spread their cloaks on the road, and others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. And the crowds that went before him and that followed him were shouting, "Hosanna to the Son of David!" Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest!" and when he entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred."
- Matthew 21: 1,6-10

I love this moment in scripture because it is the climax of Jesus's ministry. The moments when he finally reveals himself publicly to be the King and the Messiah, the long awaited savoir of Israel. Before he talked in parables, hushed his disciples, sent people who he healed out in secrecy. But in this moment he made it clear, he was the one they were waiting for.  

"Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion! Should aloud, O daughter of Jerusalem! Behold your King is coming to you; righteous and having salvation is he, humble and mounted on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey" - Zechariah 9:9

The people of Israel knew this scripture. The city of Jerusalem, the heart of Israel, was where their King, their Messiah, was suppose to reign. So here Jesus is, a spitting image of the prophesied Messiah, and he is entering their holy city. That is why as soon as they saw Jesus coming on his donkey, they immediately scurried to make a way for their King. What I love is that they paved the way for their king with offerings, sacrifices, and praises. People sacrificed of their cloaks, others ran to get palm tree branches (the branch was actually symbolic of victory), while some just shouted their praises. It's such a beautiful scene of God's people celebrating his coming!

The advent season is suppose to be a time of preparing for the Lord's coming, celebrating baby Jesus entering the world, while being reminded of his second coming.

How do we make a way for him, how do we create a space where Jesus can come and meet us? I think this scripture shows our worship, the very act of giving honor and value, to him clears the way for Jesus to come.

Sometimes what we have to offer are the things we have been holding very close, trying to protect and control. Our families, our relationships, our jobs, our hopes, our commitments. We don't trust God to handle those things.

Sometimes what we have to sacrifice are the things we think we need. We need our time, we need our money, we need new clothes, we need vacations.

Sometimes what we have to offer is our praise. And not like mild, soft, whispered praises. But our highest, loudest, wildest praises. The verse say "Rejoice GREATLY!" "Shout ALOUD!". Another account from Luke says "The whole multitude of his disciples began to REJOICE and PRAISE god with a LOUD voice for all the mighty works they had seen" (19:37). Lately in worship, this scene has come to my mind. I can feel my praises making a space for the King to come. He is worthy of all your praises. And if you're not convinced that he is, start recounting every good thing you have seen him do, that's what the disciples did! And if you don't think he has done anything great, now is the perfect time to bring you offering, bring your sacrifice, and ask God to do something amazing.

Whatever it is you have, you can lay it down, you can offer it up. When you do, you are making a way for Jesus to enter in. How can Jesus enter in when your walls are up? How can Jesus do miracles in your family when you are holding them too close for him to even touch? Jesus is trust worthy. More than that, Jesus is victorious! You might be thinking your just waving a branch at a guy on a donkey, but Jesus is turns that branch into a symbol of victory that testifies to his magnificent kingdom, his amazing kingship! How awesome is that!?

So as we anticipate his coming, as we prepare our hearts for this Christmas season we offer our worship to him, whatever is looks like, to make a space for our King to enter in.

Yes, Black Lives Matter. Yes, All Lives Matter.

Yes, black lives matter. And yes, all lives matter.

These two statements are not contradictory. 

Yet, some people feel as if they are. 

That to say, specifically, black lives matter, is to say no other lives matter. But that is simply not true.

I think the real meat of the matter is this: Our brothers and sisters (because if you are in Christ, that is what they are) feel like they are being mistreated, over-looked, judged, and abused. They feel like their lives, their existence, does not matter and is even unwanted.

That matters. The way they feel, whether you believe the facts to be true or not, matters.

The bible says rejoice with those who rejoice, and mourn with those who mourn.

What frustrates me is that people would rather feel like they have the right opinion on a matter, than have compassion for the people in the matter.

Jesus operated out of compassion. He interacted with people out of compassion. I think about Jesus and the story of him feeding the 5,000. The 5,000 in the story were literally stalking Jesus from the previous city he was in. The bible says they "followed him from the town" that he had just left. Jesus himself was in mourning. He had just found out his cousin and friend John had been beheaded. He was trying to be alone, but these people wanted something from him. People had heard and seen Jesus preform miracles and they were hoping he would do the same for them, the same for their loved ones. So they brought their sick and desperate to him. When Jesus saw them, he wasn't angry, or agitated. He was moved. He saw all of their needs, and he "had compassion on them and healed their sick."

It seems like now, when we hear peoples needs, it somehow offends us. Our response is, "well I have needs too." or "well I don't have those needs because I've worked hard to meet my own needs."

Jesus was in the middle of mourning. He needed to be alone. He wanted to be alone. Yet, he wasn't offended that these people wanted something from him in his time of need.

Jesus didn't need healing. He was perfect. He didn't reprimand them or blame them for their problems. He didn't look at Johnny in the crowd and say, "Johnny your arm is broken because you were being stupid, I am not fixing that". Or "Mary you would have never needed healing for that infection if you would have been responsible with cleaning the wound."

He just healed their sick. He met their needs.

The greek word for the compassion he had was "splagchnizomai" which means "to be moved as to one's bowels, hence to be moved with compassion, have compassion (for the bowels were thought to be the seat of love and pity)."

Lol pretty gross right. But the picture is of a DEEP compassion. A compassion that literally grips the pit of your stomach.

When people speak on issues, I can hear immediately whether or not they are speaking from a place of compassion. If they are not, I don't want to hear what they have to say. Why? Because when you don't speak from a genuine place of love and compassion you are just making noise.

"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal."- 1 Corinthians 13:1

I think if you want to have an opinion about a controversial issue, you need to stop, and pray about it first. We need to seek to see through the eyes of Jesus, which were filled with compassion, as we just read. We need to ask him for his compassion. I'm not saying Jesus compassion always means a certain answer. But I think having his compassion changes the way you interact with people who have the opposite opinion. It changes the way you share your opinion. 

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”- Matthew 22:36-40

God wants more than anything for us to love each other. To have compassion for one another. People think because they don't hate someone that they are loving their neighbor. Yeah I love my neighbor, I mean I definitely don't hate him. To be indifferent is not love, and it is definitely not compassion. Loving our neighbor was the second thing he COMMANDED us to do. Even in the Old Testament there was a purpose behind the laws God gave. For example, the dietary restrictions were actually for the Israelite's' health. I believe he has the same purpose with the law I quoted above. I think when we love God and we love others it actually brings health to us individually and to our communities.

So when my brothers and sisters feel like they have to campaign for something as basic as the fact that their lives matter. It breaks my heart.

As a christian I want everyone to feel like their lives matter. Because to the King, every life matters. He created each person in his image. So each person reveals something beautiful about God. That means when we are ALL together in harmony, we get to see a fuller picture of the image of God. That to me is so beautiful, so powerful, so glorious. Of course Satan wants to ruin that. Of course he wants to bring in mistrust, offense, hurt, anger, fear, anything really to prevent us from living in the full image of God. 

I can see how the media tries to pit us against each other. "Look people don't care about black lives" "Look people don't care that cops are dying" You are either for cops, or you are for black lives. People feel like they need to pick a side. But the problem with that is, you start seeing from the lens of the side you are on, instead of through Jesus's eyes of compassion. 

Yes, black lives matter. Police lives matters. White lives matter. Asian lives matter. Hispanic lives matter. I agree that every life matters. But it doesn't offend me when one group screams "I want to feel like my life matters!" I want to scream back "I want you to too!" I want them to know their life matters, and I don't want to scoff at them when they are honestly sharing how they feel. I want to understand why they feel that way. I want to have compassion for them and make this world a place where they feel loved and accepted by the Father through me.

I don't have a big solution. The only person I can control is me. So I will choose to use my life to extend grace in the midst of complicated problems. I will choose to have compassion for people. I will seek to understand, instead of jump to judgment or opinions. I will use my life to honor other people, their opinions, their feelings, whether or not I agree. I will choose to have my Father's heart for others. I will choose to use my life to help people see how the Father sees them, how the Father values and loves them.

Is that enough to solve this huge social problem, no. But maybe its a start.

So very near

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You know what truth about God it took me a really long time to understand...

That Jesus, through the holy spirit, lives in me.

When I first accepted Christ I didn't understand the real implications what that meant. I knew for sure accepting Jesus as my savior meant I was going to heaven. I knew I was suppose to some how live differently, stand up for Jesus, and tell other people about Jesus.

But when things got hard, when it didn't seem like God was listening to my prayers, ...I'd cry out:

"Where are you!?"
"What the heck are you doing!?"
"Excuse me, Are you even listening!?" 
"I asked for a parking spot, not for problems at work!"
.... I'd even try to be biblical about it and quote scripture "Why have you forsaken me?"

"Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?"- 1 Corinth 3:16

The spirit of GOD, the holy spirit, lives inside of me, ALL the time. He is not far off, up in heaven, checking his voice mail to see if he missed my call. 

But its funny because we picture him like that! We cry out upwards, hoping our prayers will make it to his ears. 

But he is inside US! He is always with US. WE literally can't be forsaken. That's amazing right!? 

At first I wasn't excited to hear that. It actually put this huge burden on me. "If God is in me, he's watching me and I need to be on my best behavior". I remembered a verse that talked about not grieving the holy spirit ( The verse was Ephesians 4:30 "And do not bring sorrow to God's Holy Spirit by the way you live"). I thought that meant if I grieved him, or did something wrong, he would get upset and leave. Well after doing things wrong a couple of times, I just figured he left.  

Every time I stepped into church I would repent and ask God to give me back his spirit. That this time I would be different, I wouldn't grieve him anymore. I did this over and over and over.

Can you see the problem? His presence relied totally upon my works, my actions, my ability to behave.

That verse actually has another part. The whole verse is:
"And do not bring sorrow to God's Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption."

That verse never said "and if you upset me, I'm leaving". That was something I just made up (probably with the help of Satan).

Why would he leave you when he just said "you [are] his own". What he is actually saying is this:
"You know what will prevent you from grieving me? Remembering me. Remembering that I died for you, taking on the sin you deserved, and then rose from the dead, so that I could live in you and be with you, and so that nothing, NO SIN, could separate us. I did all that to be with you. To claim you as my own. So we could be together now and in heaven."  

He actually WANTS to be with us. He chose to be with us. 

What he is saying is: KNOWING YOUR IDENTITY is what will prevent you from grieving the holy spirit. You are God's child. You are his child because his son is living in you. He is saying security in your identity will prevent you and motivate you to live differently.

That was not a verse intended to be condemning. It's purpose was not so that you would strive to be perfect.

"We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin."- Romans 6:6

Sinning does not separate from God anymore. It did. But God took care of all sin: past, present, and future. Your old sinful self..was literally crucified with Christ. That's not who you are anymore. You can still do it, but it does not define you. And because your sinful self died when Christ died, your new self rose when Christ rose. That is why Christ can live in you, no matter what mistakes you make!

You are not slave. Sin does not have to run your life. The purpose of God living in you is to encourage you, empower you, and confirm you are indeed a child of God.

That changes everything! That means, because God is in me. I can immediately enter his presence any time and place. If you don't "feel" God, it is not because he is not there...it's because you have stopped recognizing his presence. God is always there. He is always in you. He never leaves.

It's funny, sometimes we think God can't handle our emotions. We only want to go to God when we are doing good. But God is a big boy. He can handle our angry, irritable, frustrated, selfish fits. He is also compassionate. He takes no joy in sorrow, or hurt, in fact, he hates it. He holds us in our weakest moments, and whispers hope in the darkest.

God isn't far away, he is in you. He will not leave. Sin can not separate you once you enter into a relationship with him.
God is not far away, he is so very near.

Unforced Rhythms of Grace

We know very well that we are not set right with God by rule-keeping but only through personal faith in Jesus Christ. How do we know? 

We tried it—and we had the best system of rules the world has ever seen! Convinced that no human being can please God by self-improvement, we believed in Jesus as the Messiah so that we might be set right before God by trusting in the Messiah, not by trying to be good.

Have some of you noticed that we are not yet perfect? (No great surprise, right?) And are you ready to make the accusation that since people like me, who go through Christ in order to get things right with God, aren't perfectly virtuous, Christ must therefore be an accessory to sin? The accusation is frivolous. If I was “trying to be good,” I would be rebuilding the same old barn that I tore down. I would be acting as a charlatan.

What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a “law man” so that I could be God’s man.

Christ’s life showed me how, and enabled me to do it.

I identified myself completely with him.

 Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ.

My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not “mine,” but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.

Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God’s grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.

Something crazy has happened, for it’s obvious that you no longer have the crucified Jesus in clear focus in your lives. His sacrifice on the cross was certainly set before you clearly enough.

Let me put this question to you: How did your new life begin? Was it by working your heads off to please God? Or was it by responding to God’s Message to you? Are you going to continue this craziness? For only crazy people would think they could complete by their own efforts what was begun by God. If you weren't smart enough or strong enough to begin it, how do you suppose you could perfect it? Did you go through this whole painful learning process for nothing? It is not yet a total loss, but it certainly will be if you keep this up!

Answer this question: Does the God who lavishly provides you with his own presence, his Holy Spirit, working things in your lives you could never do for yourselves, does he do these things because of your strenuous moral striving or because you trust him to do them in you? Don’t these things happen among you just as they happened with Abraham? He believed God, and that act of belief was turned into a life that was right with God.

Galatians 2 and 3 The Message

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

That is the message of grace. And I've never seen it so clear. I've scorned this message by treating it like an elementary concept. But it's the whole message. We find ourselves stuck in the same sin or sinful tendencies and were wondering why we haven't overcome it. And people tell us we need more rules, more boundaries, more self-discipline. But that is the same thing as saying the answer is the law. Every thing, every question, finds its answer in grace. And I think that scares people. It feels unnatural to live a life without rules. 

We did not receive the message of grace to turn back to the principles of the law. 

The law won't save us. Trying to self discipline and rule our way into righteousness will not save us. The message of grace is what saves us. Living under the law can produce results, and that is tempting, but it doesn't mean that is what God desires. 

The law can produce results, but it can't produce life.

His spirit produces life. His spirit also produces results, but results that comes from rest in him and trust in his finished work on the cross. Not from our moral striving. Let's be honest though...not striving, that seems lazy, boring, and unproductive. 

I've strived my whole life, emotionally and physically. No one had to teach me that. Circumstances taught me that. You strived to survive. I started working at fifteen. I emotionally pushed my way through my parents' divorce, a friend's suicide in high school, petty highschool crushes, petty highschool drama. I've strived to make good grades, to excel in debate, newspaper, whatever I was in. I was by every account productive. 

"but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise" 1 Corinthians 1:28

What the world sees as unproductive and foolish, the Lord sees as life producing and wise. You can't use the wisdom of the world to operate in the kingdom of God.

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5

There is no striving. Only resting and trusting in him. That's why the bible says we are the branch and he is the vine and we are only to abide in him so HE can produce life through us. He is the one with the roots, with all life producing power, and his life flows through us. That is grace. 

We did not strive to get to Jesus. And maybe because of that we feel like we owe it to him to strive now. Like "aw man you're really doing me a favor here, saving me and all. I won't make you regret it"

As if we could! We are his children. He saw us before the foundation of the world. He knit us together in our mother's womb. Knowing the things we would do and struggle with. Jesus didn't die for an unknown people. He knew all of us individually and personally. He died knowing his death would save you, would save me.

We know that it was because of GRACE Jesus died for us. But what happens to grace after that. Did grace end at the cross?

"We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin. For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus...For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace." Romans 6:4-10

Christ's death and resurrection united us with him. The bible talks about our bodies being a temple. Our bodies were a place where sin and darkness could abide and rule. But when we accepted Christ, the light invaded our temple. Where there is light, there cannot be darkness. So now His Holy Spirit is what resides in our temple. Sin has no dominion, no say, in our lives. Christ is literally the ONLY thing that can define us.

Can we make mistakes. Sure. But our sins can never become our identity again. We can't call ourselves sinners because God doesn't see us that way anymore. When we accept what Christ did on the cross, when we invite him in, we become one with Christ. He takes up residence in us. So when God looks at us, he doesn't see us, he sees Christ! Is Christ a sinner? Heck no. 

He died the death we deserved, so we could live the life he deserved.

That is grace.

Grace after the cross is Christ saying, "No matter the mistake, you are still mine. No matter the mistake, you are still a daughter. No matter the mistake, I still see you as perfect, as holy, as dearly loved. No matter the mistake, you still get to walk in freedom and love and security. No matter the mistake, I am covering you with my body, with my blood. No matter the mistake, you still get to walk in the freedom I won for you." That's grace. That is our grace.

That's why Paul says "I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me"

That kind of grace is what changes us. That grace allows us to identify ourselves with CHRIST, the perfect one! That grace is what empowers us to walk in righteousness. When we come from a place of identity (I am righteous because of Christ) then sin becomes an easy feat. It's easy to defeat something we don't believe defines us. It's easy to defeat something that Christ has already overcome.

Instead of...I am a sinner how do I overcome all this sin in my life. 

How can you defeat something you believe defines you?

There is a HUGE difference between those two perspectives. One focuses on us, and how we can overcome. The other focuses on God and what God has overcome. God wants us to learn and lean into this grace.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly."- Matthew 11:28-30

If you want to overcome, stop trying to overcome. The battle is already won. The problem is not that you should be doing more to strive. The problem is you're not resting in him. The problem is you lost focus on the cross and what it did for you, what it WON for you. 

He says all you need to do is abide. Abide in his grace. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. It's not lazy. It's not unproductive. It's not unfruitful. It is the reality of grace. It is what he desires for you. It is the way of the kingdom. 

Faithfulness over Perfection

It's okay to be a Christian and not be perfect.

I don't usually feel like that. I usually feel the exact opposite of that. I get frustrated with myself when I struggle with sin, or trials. Telling myself, I shouldn't struggle with these things, I'm saved, I love Jesus, I should be perfect, I should be above this, I shouldn't struggle. 

You know where I find comfort in my struggle for perfection...Old Testament law. 

Because when God gave the Israelites the law, he included something else. He included a way to repent when they broke the law. He anticipated their breaking the law...he anticipated the fact they would mess up...he anticipated failure.

The Israelites were not punished for sinning. When they experienced war, famine, drought, it was not because someone sinned. They only experienced those things when they turned away from God and his law altogether, either by worshipping other gods, or sinning against him without seeking repentance or his guidance.

When Moses first received the ten commandments, the people turned from God to worship a golden cow.
"Go down to your people...[they] have corrupted themselves. They have made for themselves a golden calf and have worshiped it...now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may burn hot against them."
 -Exodus 32:7-10

During King Hoshea's reign over Israel, the king of Assyria captures the Israelites' land and takes the Israelites away to Assyria. Why?..
"And this occurred because the people of Israel had sinned against the Lord their God,...and had feared other gods and walked in the customs of other nations...and they did wicked things, provoking the Lord to anger; they served idols"

What's my point?

God cares more about your faithfulness than your perfection. It was their faithlessness that offended him.

"Return O faithless sons; I will heal your faithlessness."- Jeremiah 3:22

God knew, that the Israelites could not be perfect. But he wanted them to be faithful. He knew they could never be perfect in their own sinful flesh. That's why in his beautiful redemption story He sent His son Jesus to die for us, to win the battle over sin for us, and then imparted The Spirit that defeated death and sin to us. Because of this, we don't have to lose the battle to sin. We don't have to keep living the same lives, being the same person we were.

We know this. We've been told this. In our head we know the story, we know the implications.

But our lives don't change right away. We spend our days fighting for victory over sin. And there are seasons where it seems like we're losing. And we give up... or if we're honest, we'll admit we want too. Our failures tell us: were not good enough to be Christians, Christians don't struggle with sin, you're a hypocrite.

It is so much easier to just leave the fight, than watch yourself lose.

Meanwhile, God is still with us, desiring us to be faithful, to keep fighting, to keep believing, to keep persevering, to keep trusting. You're faithfulness is more important to him than your perfection.

Why is faithfulness more important? Because being faithful has to do with relationship. You're faithful to your significant other, or to your friend, because you love them, you know them, you know their character, you trust them.

You strive for perfection because of pride, a sense of obligation, your own ego, your desire to be recognized by God or by others.

It's okay if you're losing a battle right now. God doesn't want you to give up...because he hasn't given up. He believes in you. He believes in His spirit in you. When you accepted Jesus he made a covenant with you, like a marriage covenant, and God doesn't believe in divorce...so what does that tell you... it should tell you that he is serious about being faithful to you.

The fruit of the spirit is: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, FAITHFULNESS, gentleness, and self control. Which means not only is God faithful. He IS faithfulness. So he literally...can not...stop being faithful.

"But I will not remove from him my steadfast love or be false to my faithfulness."- Psalm 89:33
"If you return, I will restore you, and you shall stand before me"- Jeremiah 15:19
"...for I am with you to save and deliver you" - Jeremiah 15:20
"I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. Again I will build you, and you shall be built. O virgin Israel."-Jeremiah 31:3-4

When we give up, were telling God he can't save, that this sin is bigger than him (which is also saying Satan is bigger than him...which is pretty insulting), that we don't trust him, we don't believe in what he did on the cross, we don't want him.

But when we push through, when we stay faithful in what seems like a losing battle he says..

"Because he holds fast to me in love, I WILL DELIVER HIM, I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble. I will rescue him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation."- Psalm 91:16

Someone once said...We fight FROM victory, not FOR victory. Christ has already won. And if we're not getting to see his victory play out in our life, it's because we're leaving the battle too soon. The bible tells us the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead....which also defeated death and sin I might add....in living inside us.

Look God doesn't want you to live in sin. But you will never overcome it by fighting from your flesh, fighting from your desire to have it all together, or fighting from your pride.

On my church's recent retreat I got to watch a baby take her first steps. I would hold her up by her hands and she would take a step or two and then fall. Every single time I was thrilled. We tried over and over again. Each time she took a step I shrieked with excitement, "Come on Evelyn! You're doing it! GOOD JOB!" Each time she fell we clapped, telling her "Good job, let's do it again!" 

We didn't scold her for falling...because we knew, or had faith, she would learn to walk.

I can't help but think God is the same way. You're failures don't anger him, depress him, or even surprise him...because he knows who he has created you to be. Your failures don't define you. He defines you. He doesn't see us for our mistakes...past, PRESENT, or FUTURE. He sees us in our perfection. Who he created us to be before he created the world. It's hard for us to imagine a God who's not condemning us or scolding us, but he's not. He's cheering you on. That's what GOOD dads do. That's what I did and I wasn't even her dad... I had actually just gotten to hang out with the baby that week. So if I...basically a stranger was excited, how much MORE excited is our perfect heavenly father to see us overcome sin in our lives. God wants you to know him as a father, a friend, a lover of your soul.

God wants us to press into him. Seek him, trust him, love him. If you're having a hard time being faithful to him, you probably need to get to know him more, spend more time with him, learn about how much he loves you. He cares about your relationship with him, because he cares about you. 

The beautiful thing is when we abide in him, when we are in relationship with him, fruit comes, victory over sin comes, joy comes, life comes.

"Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."- John 15:5

Relationship comes first. It is a humbling experience to admit that you are weak in an area of your life. But his strength is made perfect in our weakness. So keep fighting, no matter how many times you fail, because THAT takes faith. Know that God is cheering you on because he is faithful, and he is faithful because he loves you.

"[Be] confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion"

- Philippians 1:6